MISSISSAUGA — Kristin has been out of work since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, and has been receiving $2000 monthly payments as part of the Canada Emergency Response Benefit. She recently a…
Money
Billionaire child opens his first offshore piggy bank
Cayman Islands – In a right of passage for every child of the .01%, young Mister Chettington Irvine McCain Weston, 6, has been brought to the Cayman Islands in order to open his first offsh…
Student that received CESB blows it all on single PDF textbook
ORILLIA, ON – Several days after receiving $1,250 from the Canada Emergency Student Benefit, Jackson Briggs was surprised to find that he had immediately spent the totality of the money on …
Man who has barely left basement apartment in months really enjoying his rich friends’ cottage photos
TORONTO – Local man Jerome Wittels has been housebound in his 300 sq. foot basement apartment since the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown began, but says he is getting quite a lot of enjoyment see…
Economists hate her! This woman makes $500 a week with one simple tool!
$$$ Social assistance EXPOSED! $$$ Recently laid-off woman reveals shocking secret trick your employer doesn’t want you to know! Top-secret government hack UNCOVERED: $8000 in cash for struggling…
Local hipster keeps telling everyone he was on EI before it was cool
EAST VANCOUVER – In the midst of a global pandemic, the government is scrambling to assist those who are struggling financially. While Canadians are trying to cope with losing their jobs, h…
Government rejects universal basic income in favour of 3 minutes inside money booth
OTTAWA – The Canadian federal government has dismissed calls for the creation of a universal basic income as a response to the vast unemployment and economic upheaval caused by COVID-19, an…
CRA extends tax deadline citing meaninglessness of all money
OTTAWA — In the wake of the COVID-19 outbreak, the Canada Revenue Agency has extended the national tax filing deadline to June 1st, explaining that “honestly the idea of money is just something p…
World Economic Forum in Davos experiencing crippling top hat shortage
DAVOS-KLOSTERS, SWITZERLAND – The latest annual meeting of the World Economic Forum has descended into chaos and anger due to a shortage of top hats and other necessary plutocrat accoutreme…
Vancouver millionaires rally to support spinning chandelier
VANCOUVER – In response to a widening controversy over the installation of a $4.8-million spinning chandelier under a bridge while the city is experiencing a homelessness crisis, Vancouver …
