SCARBOROUGH, ON – After watching a comedy special featuring several top comics, 36-year-old suburbanite Peter Wisken made a formal announcement Thursday evening regarding his long-held belief tha…
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Local waste of a man to spend all afternoon thinking about morning
WINNIPEG – According to living room sources, unemployed Winnipeg resident and generally useless individual Andrew Rowley will spend the entire afternoon lying on his couch and reflecting up…
Twin brother to twin sister: ‘I think we should see other siblings’
ST. ALBERT, AB – Phillip Flansky, twin brother of Lillian Flansky, broke the news Wednesday to his twin sister that he wants to spend time with his other siblings. Coming from a family of 1…
Entire date ruined by boner
VICTORIA, BC – A potentially pleasant outing between a man and woman on Saturday evening was completely ruined by a boner. Todd Bellard, 28, and his date, 27-year-old Cynthia Elmwood, were …
Man accidentally makes eye contact on subway
MONTREAL – During a routine commute, Montreal Metro patron Josh Ditton accidentally made eye contact with another commuter in an event the 32 year old office assistant described as “very aw…
Local couple still find time to fight after all these years
GUELPH, ON – Despite their busy schedules at a local law firm, Jan Dirtz and Dan Dirtz, married 16 years, still make time to fight with each other whenever they can. “To keep the spark in o…
Local boyfriend apartment rapidly turning into local girlfriend apartment
GUELPH, ON – Area boyfriend and apartment dweller Jonny Terefenko, 26, recently noticed that over half of the items in his apartment of fours years currently belong to his girlfriend of les…
Bored dinner party guests upset Christ not performing miracles at table
MUSKOKA, ON – A couple hosting a dinner party at their Muskoka cottage reported frustration after repeated failed attempts to have their guest of honour, Jesus Christ, Author of Eternal Sal…
Book author finally lands Twitter deal
CALGARY – A Calgary woman has been offered a $6 million Twitter deal following years of successfully self-publishing in the book industry. “Matha Stanford’s witty, quirky 140 page novellas …
Really cool motor coach driver slows down or stops when you need to use toilet
MONTREAL – Coach Canada driver Ted Logan, 42, will make every attempt to slow down his motor coach on the highway whenever a passenger tries to use the toilet. “If you need to go, just give…
