RICHMOND HILL, ON – Local sous chef, Darryl Donwyn, recently shook a pot of water to make it boil faster at restaurant Le Lentement. “He still has a lot to learn,” said head chef Saffron Me…
Food
Kisko unveils new lambskin freezie that won’t cut your mouth when you suck it dry
WOODBRIDGE, ON – Kisko announced a bold new change to its popular Mr. Freeze freezies that will see the plastic sheath replaced with lambskin to protect customers’ mouths when they gr…
Report: Clamato still disgusting, delicious
CALGARY – After conducting an exhaustive longitudinal study of scientific research done over the last 60 years, scientists at the University of Calgary have officially confirmed that Clamat…
Vancouver patios install scarecrows to ward off young people
VANCOUVER – Due to the recent spike in Covid-19 cases among people under 40, Vancouver restaurants have resorted to installing scarecrows on their patios in hopes that it will deter the hoa…
In push for racial unity, white woman volunteers to try jerk chicken
TORONTO – In solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement and in an attempt to solve racial unrest once and for all, a local white woman volunteered to try jerk chicken for the very firs…
Local man eats ghost pepper as excuse to finally cry around his friends
Hamilton, ON – Twenty-six year old Julian Tormeida was recently spotted on an endorphin fueled rush as he finally cried in front of his childhood friends due to the assistance of cleverly p…
Despite food shortages, grocery stores report massive surplus of gluten free products
EDMONTON – While the COVID-19 quarantine has resulted in some grocery stores dealing with food shortages, availability of gluten-free products remains at an all-time high. “People are despe…
Despite food shortages, grocery stores report massive surplus of gluten free products
TORONTO – While the COVID-19 quarantine has resulted in some grocery stores dealing with food shortages, availability of gluten-free products remains at an all-time high. “People are desper…
Report: Jessica acting like a real domestic slut ever since she got a Le Creuset Dutch Oven
RICHMOND HILL, ON – Upon acquiring a $500 Le Creuset brand dutch oven, sources are reporting that Jessica Sanghvi has been acting like a notoriously domesticated slut by spending the majori…
Delusional sports bar owner believes customers will order from his takeout menu
CALGARY – Completely misreading his clientele, the owner of Nutter’s Sports Bar and Grill believes there will be high demand for the unremarkable items on his takeout menu. Brad Furst’s 17th Aven…
