DRYDEN – After hearing numerous complaints, a pulp mill in Dryden, Ontario has decided to amend its method of manufacturing matzah bread on the eve of the Passover holiday. The Dryden Mill, which…
Culture
Stephen Colbert named new guy who older married couples fall asleep to
NEW YORK – CBS has announced that Stephen Colbert will take over for David Letterman as their flagship guy who puts married upper middle class Americans to sleep every night. “I look forwar…
Lars von Trier offended by critics describing his work as ‘a movie’
LONDON – During a press junket on Monday director Lars von Trier expressed anger and annoyance in response to critics referring to his latest work with belittling words like “movie,” “film,…
Revelers celebrate Irish holiday with American music, Mexican food
CANADA – Party goers across the country are marking the holiday dedicated to the patron saint of Ireland by enjoying food, drink, and activities that do not originate from the island of rou…
Report: Majority of climate change documentaries have slanted climate change prevention agenda
OTTAWA – A damning new report released by the Petrol Centre for Climate Studies has revealed that over 95% of documentary films featuring data on climate change have “unequivocal” biases th…
Canadian Screen Awards cancelled after only two episodes
TORONTO – After a short two episode run, little watched and poorly advertised Canadian television program, the Canadian Screen Awards, was cancelled by the CBC today. “Unfortunately, given …
Unbelievably cool 19-year-old names pet kitten Kerouac
TORONTO – Sources close to thoughtful, highly literate, yet whimsical 19-year-old Kyle Wendcott alerted press yesterday that in a characteristically tasteful move, he has named his new pet …
Harold Ramis becomes world’s funniest Class 5 Free-Roaming Vapour
CHICAGO – Early yesterday morning, surrounded by family and loved ones, acclaimed comedy writer/director Harold Ramis, age 69, crossed over to officially become the spirit world’s most hilarious …
Oscar organizers begin thawing of Jack Nicholson
BEVERLY HILLS, CA — With the Oscars tonight, Hollywood cryogenicists are quickly defrosting of 79-year-old legendary film actor Jack Nicholson to attend. The acclaimed Batman and Terms of Endearm…
