MONTREAL – Following a long history of faulty products and broken contracts Quebec manufacturer Bombardier has missed a deadline for a train they were never contracted to make. “Our deepest…
Business
Amazon abandons plans for NYC HQ after no one home to accept delivery
NEW YORK – New Yorkers were left stunned and disappointed as Amazon cancelled its plans for a new headquarters in Queens when no one was home to accept delivery. “The UPS driver tried three…
New ‘Roll Up The Rim’ prize gives winners a free coffee from better coffee place
Hamilton, ON – The beloved Tim Hortons’ ‘Roll Up The Rim To Win’ contest is back and better than ever with a prize Canadians have long been hoping for – a free coffee from one of Cana…
Schick responds to Gillette’s #MeToo ad by releasing misogynistic razor
NEW YORK – In response to Gillette’s powerful advertisement about toxic masculinity, Schick has unveiled a misogynistic razor for those angry and bitter men who feel betrayed. “This product…
Johnson & Johnson claims asbestos in Baby Powder was benevolent attempt to fireproof world’s babies
NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ – Following widespread anger, lawsuits and a precipitous stock price drop when it was revealed that Johnson & Johnson have known for decades that their Baby Powder was…
Mobile phone game allows users to purchase ability to win
MONTREAL – Mobile game development house Kyoho Games has announced that their new free downloadable release – Block Exploder – allows players the option to pay a small premium f…
New winter boots promise to make your feet either extremely hot or a little wet
TORONTO – Boot manufacturers throughout Canada have finally given up and announced that all boots bought for winter 2019 will either make your feet uncomfortably hot or a little wet. “Have …
Nation’s Netflix subscription now costs a dollar more than previous rate of “I have no idea what I’m paying”
LOS GATOS, CA – Canadian Netflix subscribers are about to pay a dollar more per month than whatever they’ve been paying up to now, which, honestly, no one can remember. The streaming compan…
Report: Facebook pretty much just pet obituaries now
TORONTO – A new report released by the University of Toronto suggests that 90% of recent Facebook posts are messages of love for recently deceased domestic animals. The social media site, once va…
Wikipedia shuts down due to crippling $3.00 deficit
SAN FRANCISCO – Internet encyclopedia Wikipedia revealed today that it will cease operation after suffering an insurmountable deficit of $3.00 this fiscal year. “Our accountants said …
