EDMONTON – Citing the mounting cost to taxpayers, Alberta’s UCP government announced that it will be only be protecting wildlife that can turn a profit. Environment Minister Jason Nixon sai…
Alberta
Teck pulls application for oil sands mine after finding out about the existence of oil prices
FORT McMURRAY, AB – Teck Resources Ltd have pulled their application to the Canadian government for a massive $20 billion oil sands mine in northern Alberta after a shocking study by the co…
Conservatives hoping to find leader that might finally appeal to Alberta
OTTAWA – After failing to win government, many in the Conservative party are wondering whether they should replace Erin O’Toole with a leader that will really shore up support in Albe…
Blood-stained Jason Kenney fires police officers investigating murder
EDMONTON – Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has announced $2 million more in savings for government coffers after firing the police officers investigating him on suspicion of murder. “Making co…
Alberta legislation permits health care workers to religiously sacrifice patients
EDMONTON – Alberta’s UCP government has hastily passed legislation to permit health care workers the right to make human sacrifices to appease their respective deities. The Conscience…
Alberta to be represented in Liberal cabinet by empty cowboy hat
OTTAWA – With no MPs from either Alberta or Saskatchewan, sources indicate that Western Canada will be represented in the Trudeau cabinet by an empty Calgary White Hat. The 10-gallon hat, f…
Kenney cuts support for handicapped to fund task force into why people think he’s an asshole
EDMONTON – In his first budget, Premier Jason Kenney has cut the basic income support for handicapped people and redirected the millions saved to fund a public inquiry into why people think…
Wexit movement inspired by how smoothly Brexit is going
EDMONTON – After the federal election results left many in western Canada feeling disappointed and alienated, a separatist movement has emerged online under the banner of “Wexit”, inspired …
Alberta economy makes transition to renewable sources of anger
CALGARY – With Prime Minister Justin Trudeau winning the most seats in his second election, Premier Jason Kenney’s UPC government as well as many oil and gas companies have started to make …
Alberta passes law prohibiting females under 18 from speaking without a license
EDMONTON – The Alberta government has pulled an all nighter hammering out a new law that forces all females under the age of majority to apply for and receive a government license before ex…
