TORONTO – In an effort to attract more talent, the CBC has stated that embattled British television presenter Jeremy Clarkson, host of the hit show Top Gear, would be allowed to punch any o…
Tory MP assures Canadians that his racism is merely institutional
OTTAWA – Conservative MP John Williamson has reassured the public that his comments regarding temporary foreign workers did not reflect his own personal views and was merely expressing raci…
CRA discovers discrepancies in 7 out of 4 cases
OTTAWA – According to a recent internal review, the Canada Revenue Agency’s tax answers to customers have not been mathematically accurate “110% of the time.” “It would seem highly improbab…
Student who never attends tutorial furious at TA strike
TORONTO – A second year history student at the University of Toronto is upset to hear that the university’s TA strike is preventing him from not attending his weekly tutorials. “This is so …
Ottawa asking deceased veterans to confirm status every 3 years
OTTAWA – Following the newly instated policy that requires veterans to verify lost limbs, Ottawa is now also requiring deceased veterans to prove their status every three years. “This…
Government asks child pornographers to hold off until they balance budget
OTTAWA – In light of the $10 million in cuts to the RCMP’s anti-child pornography agenda, the Conservative government is asking pedophiles to lay off for a bit while they balance the books.…
Strip searches allowed in Quebec schools so long as staff respectfully compliment students’ sexiness
Following a report in a Montréal newspaper about a 15-year-old who was searched for drugs, Quebec Education Minister Yves Bolduc has said high school staff are permitted to strip-search students,…
Feds: Lululemon pants banned at citizenship ceremonies, hides women’s true shape
OTTAWA – Citizenship Minister Chris Alexander has declared all women wearing Lululemon pants will be prohibited from taking their citizenship oath stating that the pants clearly cover up th…
Halifax, nation relieved to hear mass shooting plot was planned by white people and not terrorists
HALIFAX – A concerned community and country were sighing in relief yesterday after authorities confirmed the suspects involved in plot to kill as many innocent people as possible were just …
12 cases where doctors will not assist suicide
Last week, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled that physician assisted suicide can be legal in specific cases. Here are some reasons in which you cannot elect to end your life early. 1. As a cure f…
