HALIFAX – A concerned community and country were sighing in relief yesterday after authorities confirmed the suspects involved in plot to kill as many innocent people as possible were just ordinary white people.
“It’s okay folks; the plotters had no association to Islam,” reassured the local RCMP to a visibly nervous media and public. “No one converted either. These were just disgruntled Caucasian kids who wanted to commit mass atrocities based on white supremacy. The plot was not culturally based whatsoever. It’s just a phase and not terrorism.”
The RCMP stated that the suspects had no names like ‘Mohammed’ or went to a mosque on a weekly basis. Instead, they were just neighbourhood kids fantasizing about how Adolf Hitler killed millions of people based on their race and wanted to do the same.
Furthermore, the blogs the suspects read and used had no association with ISIS, but instead called for death and destruction based on a hate-filled, fringe ideology, which is, apparently, not as bad as the legal definition terrorism.
“You know the old saying; whites will be whites,” added the RCMP.
