OTTAWA – Following the newly instated policy that requires veterans to verify lost limbs, Ottawa is now also requiring deceased veterans to prove their status every three years.
“This is not an unreasonable request,” argued Veteran Affairs Minister Erin O’Toole. “We just want to protect the veteran affairs budget from newt-like veterans with the ability to re-grow limbs and the veteran undead.”
O’Toole said that the nation’s fallen veterans will have to fill out a simple 45 page application with their original death certificate. If the fallen vet cannot produce these documents, their tombstones and lawn care services will be removed.
At press time, John McCrae was rolling in his grave.
