WASHINGTON – Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has urged the United States to pull their troops out of Ferguson, criticizing the military occupation as “an inhumane and unnecessary …
Homeopaths without Borders discover 87 cures for Ebola virus
ATLANTA – The international homeopathy organization, Homeopaths without Borders, has discovered nearly 100 different cures for the Ebola Virus and will promptly use these remedies to fight …
Man late for meeting wins Honda Indy
TORONTO – Human Resources Director Tom Biddlesworth is the latest driver to win the Honda Indy after he found himself late for an important meeting across town. Using a series of last-minut…
Happy couple gives birth to increased carbon footprint
HAMILTON – A delighted Chantal and Martin Derevoix welcomed a brand new resource consuming, tax on the environment into the world yesterday. Weighing 7lbs and named Typhany, the increase in…
Dec. 6, 1917: Halifax explosion tragically delays shipment of military explosives
HALIFAX — An explosive collision between a Norwegian vessel and the SS Mont-Blanc, a munitions ship bound for France, has resulted in the tragic loss of countless high-powered military explosives…
Leafs accidentally sign infielder Michael Diaz during free agent frenzy
TORONTO – Following a flurry of free agent signings, the Toronto Maple Leafs experienced another setback after the team mistakenly signed a deal with infielder Michael Diaz for the next sev…
Environmental Studies major prints 56th draft of research paper
VICTORIA – According to sources inside McPherson Library at the University of Victoria, 4th-year Environmental Studies student Jason Tomcik, 23, printed a 56th draft of his research paper i…
Local man sits doing nothing while phone charges
HAMILTON, ON – Local man Ian Barslow sat in a chair for 40-minutes doing absolutely nothing while he waited for his iPhone battery to charge, sources at an open house reported yesterday. “H…
