TORONTO – Human Resources Director Tom Biddlesworth is the latest driver to win the Honda Indy after he found himself late for an important meeting across town. Using a series of last-minut…
Happy couple gives birth to increased carbon footprint
HAMILTON – A delighted Chantal and Martin Derevoix welcomed a brand new resource consuming, tax on the environment into the world yesterday. Weighing 7lbs and named Typhany, the increase in…
Dec. 6, 1917: Halifax explosion tragically delays shipment of military explosives
HALIFAX — An explosive collision between a Norwegian vessel and the SS Mont-Blanc, a munitions ship bound for France, has resulted in the tragic loss of countless high-powered military explosives…
Leafs accidentally sign infielder Michael Diaz during free agent frenzy
TORONTO – Following a flurry of free agent signings, the Toronto Maple Leafs experienced another setback after the team mistakenly signed a deal with infielder Michael Diaz for the next sev…
Environmental Studies major prints 56th draft of research paper
VICTORIA – According to sources inside McPherson Library at the University of Victoria, 4th-year Environmental Studies student Jason Tomcik, 23, printed a 56th draft of his research paper i…
Local man sits doing nothing while phone charges
HAMILTON, ON – Local man Ian Barslow sat in a chair for 40-minutes doing absolutely nothing while he waited for his iPhone battery to charge, sources at an open house reported yesterday. “H…
Habs fan already blaming Price’s injury, refs, coach, Ginette Reno, weather for Habs playoff elimination
MONTREAL – With the Montreal Canadiens facing elimination from the Stanley Cup playoffs, one diehard fan is faulting goaltender Carey Price’s injury, poor refereeing, head coach Michel Ther…
12 overdose at Woofstock
TORONTO – The celebrations at Summer Woofstock, the annual canine festival, ended in several emergency vet visits after 12 dogs were reported to have partied too hard, possibly ingesting il…
Unprepared surgeon just going to ‘wing it’
VANCOUVER – In lieu of doing proper preparation for a complicated surgery scheduled this afternoon, neurosurgeon Dr. James Rutherford, a recent graduate from UBC’s Faculty of Medicine, has …
