CANADA – Newly released polls are showing that the NDP have a very strong chance of winning the upcoming federal election, and simultaneously no chance at all.
“The NDP have been polling very strongly,” said EKOS senior political analyst Fred Saunders. “I don’t think anybody would be surprised to see them form a minority government come October. Of course, we have two other polls saying that the Liberals and Conservatives are going to win so what the fuck do we know?”
NDP supporters nationwide have voiced their absolute certainty that Thomas Mulcair will serve as Canada’s next Prime Minister, at the same time emotionally bracing themselves for several more years under the Harper Government.
“People are finally taking the Conservatives to task for their faults and they’re ready for change,” said Vancouver woman Diane Seung. “So hopefully the NDP can get Opposition again and regroup for the next election.”
At press time, analysts from research firms around the country were sleeping soundly with the knowledge that they had done a job deserving of a six-figure salary.
