HOLLYWOOD – Following the release of documents revealing that Bill Cosby himself admitted to obtaining prescription Quaaludes to have sex with women, a skeptical nation has resolved to give the beloved entertainer the benefit of the doubt unless further Bill Cosbys come forward.
Newly released documents, from a 2005 civil suit, show that actor and comedian Bill Cosby admitted under oath to purchasing sedatives to give to women for sexual purposes. While some are calling this a damning admission by Bill Cosby himself, the vast majority of Americans maintain that testimony from only one Bill Cosby does not prove his guilt. Megyn Kelly of Fox and Friends commented that, barring testimony from further Bill Cosbys, this remains a “Bill Cosby said, Bill Cosby said situation”.
Fan reaction to the admission has proven similarly skeptical. “I understand that Bill Cosby himself admitted to obtaining controlled substances to drug women for sex,” said Mark Alpert, systems analyst and self-professed Cosby Show fan. “But how do we know he’s telling the truth? Maybe Bill Cosby had a sexual experience he regretted, and just made up this story about drugging and raping dozens of women. Innocent until proven guilty, I say.”
A recent poll showed that a majority of Americans were still unconvinced by Bill Cosby’s admission that he acquired controlled substances to administer to women. Forty percent of respondents said they would require “ten or more” Bill Cosbys to come forward, while thirty-five percent of respondents would “only believe Bill Cosby if Bill Cosby brought charges against Bill Cosby and Bill Cosby was then convicted in a court of law”.
Several men’s advocacy groups rushed to defend Bill Cosby, while condemning Bill Cosby’s assault claims. “Statistics show that instances of Bill Cosbys making false rape accusations are actually very common,” explained Jared Dillon, president of the group More Equality For Men. “Likely this is just some gold-digging Bill Cosby hoping to capitalize off of accusing an innocent Bill Cosby of sexual assault. Happens all the time.”
California law enforcement officials concede that finding further Bill Cosbys to testify has proven difficult, particularly considering the “lineup of women who’ve been waiting for years.”