TORONTO – After performing an in-house audit and hiring several third party firms to a total cost of over $683 million, the City of Toronto has determined it is too expensive to continue an…
Paul Calandra answers questions about Iraq with squash soup recipe
OTTAWA – Paul Calandra recited ingredients from his favourite squash soup recipe this morning after he was asked by NDP leader Tom Mulcair to give information about Canada’s deploymen…
MBA graduate can’t sew button on shirt
TORONTO – University of Toronto Rotman School of Management graduate Keith Bannister has never learned how to properly sew a button on his shirt. Bannister, 29, who views clothing as a mean…
NFL to nation’s women: ‘Please stop letting our star players assault you’
NEW YORK – Citing the need to correct longstanding issues within its organization, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, along with coaches from across the country, pleaded with the nation’s wome…
William and Kate confirm: ‘we just can’t stop boning’
LONDON – With the news of a second baby on the way, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have confirmed they both “really like boning.” “We are very pleased to announce that our co…
Canadian actors excited to meet real celebrities at TIFF
TORONTO – As the Toronto International Film Festival is set to get under way, Canadian stars are nervously awaiting their chance to finally meet real-life American celebrities. “I play poke…
Harper: ‘But there are so many aboriginal women that aren’t missing’
OTTAWA – Addressing concerns over comments made earlier this week regarding the death of 15-year-old Tina Fontaine, Harper told reporters yesterday that, while aboriginal women are 3.5 time…
Israel urges US to pull troops out of Ferguson
WASHINGTON – Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has urged the United States to pull their troops out of Ferguson, criticizing the military occupation as “an inhumane and unnecessary …
Homeopaths without Borders discover 87 cures for Ebola virus
ATLANTA – The international homeopathy organization, Homeopaths without Borders, has discovered nearly 100 different cures for the Ebola Virus and will promptly use these remedies to fight …
