JERUSALEM – At a meeting of the World Zionist Congress in Jerusalem this week, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu claimed that Adolf Hitler was ‘just following orders’ from Haj Amin al-Husseini, Grand Mufti of Jerusalem, to exterminate millions of European Jews.
“Is it possible that Hitler has gotten a bad rap?” explained Netanyahu. “I believe that, since there is a historically dubious alternative interpretation that blames my current political enemies, the answer should be ‘yes’.”
Netanyahu told the congress that Hitler had not originally planned to commit a genocide, but was ordered to do so by al-Husseini in 1941. He went on to explain that, since Hitler was obviously not in a position to refuse an order from a superior officer or random foreign cleric, he should not be held entirely responsible for the war crimes he committed.
“Listen, I don’t want to get anyone upset; I’m just saying that perhaps there is a different group of people that deserve some of the blame for the Holocaust,” explained Netanyahu. “You know, maybe a group of people whose mistreatment I need to justify to the international community.”
Netanyahu then went on to clarify that the Nuremberg defence, as this legal tactic is known, states that it is beyond the duties of a rank-and-file soldier to assess the legality of a morally ambiguous order before carrying it out. Hitler, says Netanyahu, could not judge the legality of his genocide without facing consequences from his higher ups in Jerusalem’s Muslim religious orders.
“Of course, I’m not saying this exonerates Hitler completely,” Netanyahu explained to a crowd of reporters at the congress, “But it doesn’t make sense to put all the blame on the leader of the Third Reich and none on the guy at the top.”
“And the guy on the top is clearly the entire current population of Palestine.”
At press time, ex-Prime Minister Stephen Harper was relieved he wouldn’t be expected to blindly defend this bullshit to the international community.