MONTREAL – While performing well in the final week of the federal election campaign, Liberal leader Justin Trudeau has yet to learn all of his lines for a community theatre production of p…
Rob Ford signs multi-thousand dollar tracksuit sponsorship deal
TORONTO — Former Toronto mayor Rob Ford has just announced a lucrative multi-thousand dollar tracksuit deal with Adidas. After recently having signed NBA heartthrob James Harden, Adidas’ is…
New polls definitively show NDP will win or lose
CANADA – Newly released polls are showing that the NDP have a very strong chance of winning the upcoming federal election, and simultaneously no chance at all. “The NDP have been poll…
Harper pledges all Conservative candidates will be potty trained by time they take office
OTTAWA — Following the resignation of a Toronto candidate this weekend, the Conservative Party of Canada has pledged all future candidates will be ethical, upstanding citizens who know how to use…
Conservatives claim Canada only country in the world to successfully deny deficit
OTTAWA – Despite a report from the Parliamentary Budget Officer indicating that the nation’s budget will not be balanced, the Conservatives triumphantly announced today that Canada is the f…
QUIZ: What is your white name?
1. What’s your favourite colour? a) Violet b) Fire Engine Red c) Hawthorne Yellow d) Sky Blue 2. Are you a cat person or a dog person? a) Cat b) Dog 3. Where is your summer home? a) Muskoka b) Th…
Feeling dead on the inside now a requirement for federal government jobs
OTTAWA – All federal departments and Crown Corporations will now have an added job requirement: feeling completely empty, hopeless and void of human emotion. Treasury Board President Tony C…
QUIZ: What Does Your Personal Information Say About You?
Sponsored quiz by: Authenic Quiz Corpp 1. What is your credit card number? A) 4530 1500 8503 0048 B) 4568 9304 1198 2283 C) 8492 9204 2748 2203 2. What’s your favourite password? A) My moth…
Nation waits for more Bill Cosbys to come forward before believing Bill Cosby rape accusations
HOLLYWOOD – Following the release of documents revealing that Bill Cosby himself admitted to obtaining prescription Quaaludes to have sex with women, a skeptical nation has resolved to give…
Michael Chan accused of holding office while being non-white
TORONTO – Earlier this week CSIS accused Michael Chan, the Ontario Minister of Citizenship, Immigration and International Trade, of holding office while not being white. “Sure, when we made…
