TORONTO – After years of speculation, scientists have finally answered the question that has plagued humanity for generations – whether the sun is a boy sun or a girl sun. “We’ve been worki…
Portraits of Canadiosity: Margaret Wente
Margaret Wente. A great Canadian, and an even better plagiarist.…
Guide To: Winnipeg
Thinking of visiting Canada’s greatest Manitoba based city?…
To be clear, Marineland very much not offering customers opportunity to chainsaw live Orca
NIAGARA FALLS, ON – Several months after animal cruelty charges were laid against them by the OSPCA, the extremely litigious water park Marineland is not, we repeat, not, allowing guests th…
The Beaverton Weekly Report: May 31, 2017
Every week Beaverton editor-in-chief Luke Gordon Field assembles some of the country’s best comedians and writers to talk, mock and riff their way through the news of the week. Then he puts…
Queen Elizabeth to tour Canada in order to claim Prima Nocta
Watch out Canadian newlyweds!…
The Beaverton Remembers: The Release of Bon Cop/Bad Cop
No one could handle the raw sexuality of Colm Feore and Patrick Huard.…
The Rebelton: Refugees
“If these people really aren’t a threat to us then there is NO way for us to protect ourselves from them!”…
The Justin Trudeau Random Photobomb Headline Generator
Since any staged interaction between the public and Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is considered newsworthy and a ‘photobomb’, the Beaverton has developed a state-of-the-art random hea…
How To Plan A Wedding
Need tips on how to plan the day you’ll pretend was the best day of your life?…
