HAMILTON – Flamborough—Glanbrook MP David Sweet is calling the province of Ontario to end the lockdown so Canada can catch up to the US on its COVID-19 death count. “22,000 dead compared to…
New tracking bracelets vibrate every time Doug Ford has dumb idea
TORONTO – The Office of the Auditor General of Ontario has unveiled a new line of digital tracking devices that vibrate every time Doug Ford posits a very stupid idea. The Auditor General s…
Firebrand columnist ridicules slow vaccine procurement for virus he doesn’t think is real
TORONTO – In a blistering column, an opinion-maker known for his vitriolic takes has roasted the federal government for its slow vaccine procurement for a disease he doesn’t believe is real…
Nation grateful Rush Limbaugh lived long enough to see Trump lose
OTTAWA – The nation mourned the passing of legendary broadcaster and Conservative provocateur Rush Limbaugh today, but took some comfort in the fact that he saw the human embodiment of his …
Rogers can’t fucking believe they’re the less evil telecom giant
TORONTO – The Board of Rogers Communications Inc. expressed disbelief this morning that they’ve become the ‘good one’ of Canada’s two telecom giants. “I don…
Tim Hortons egg sandwich now official sponsor of Premier Ford’s pandemic press conferences
TORONTO – Tim Hortons and the Ontario government have signed a sponsorship deal to promote the chain’s egg sandwich and other items at provincial press conference related to the pandemic. P…
Refs throw penalty flag at The Weeknd
TAMPA BAY, FL – Mistaking The Weeknd’s performance for a Kansas City Chiefs player, Super Bowl referees have penalized the half-time performer. The Canadian singer was mistaken likely…
Terrorist financing of Proud Boys cut off as Mom withholds allowance
CALGARY – A 62-year-old mother has cut off terrorist funding by withholding her 35-year-old son’s allowance. Gillian Brown explained that the $20 weekly stipend she gave to her son Jamie wa…
City expropriates farmland for booming brownfield industry
WELLAND – A city in Niagara has expropriated land from a fifth generation farm to further develop its abandoned and contaminated land industry. Urban planners and local politicians in Wella…
