FREDERICTON — Local man Carl Hampton recently retweeted Donald Trump’s statement that “all negative polls are fake news” with the phrase “This is how fascism starts,” notably missing out on the f…
Journalist critical of Putin accidentally hits bullet while running at 1200 kilometres per hour
Russian journalist Saveli Nikolaev, known for his criticism of Putin’s interference in the American election, is reported to have been found dead on the streets of Moscow after running at 1200 km…
$2 pizza served at transit station probably fine
TORONTO – Commuters travelling through the Bloor-Yonge subway station in Toronto have been given the opportunity to buy pizza for $2 a slice from a folding table, and on the whole decided t…
Total madman invites you to go camping this weekend
THUNDER BAY — Despite cold temperatures, forecasts of snowy squalls, and the fact that the Sleeping Giant Provincial Park camping season ended over a month ago, local crazy person Eric Wear has i…
Study: average household onto third box of Halloween candy by now
OTTAWA — A recent study at the University of Ottawa has concluded that 93% of Canadian households have already bought and eaten two boxes of candy intended for Halloween, and are working on a thi…
Canadians thankful for harvest or St. Lawrence voyage or something
OTTAWA – Canadians nationwide are gathering with friends and family to give thanks for the harvest or a historical St. Lawrence voyage or whatever. “My family always has a big turkey dinner…
Study: Yes you should become a DJ
KINGSTON – A recently published multidisciplinary research study at Queen’s University has concluded that yes, you should totally be a DJ. “We rated performance in a variety of categories, …
New roommate apparently into banjo
MONTREAL – Having only recently moved into an apartment near McGill University, second year Geography student Natasha Ingersoll has been distressed to discover that her new roommate is appa…
Nation’s teachers desperately try to finish lesson plans night before school starts
OTTAWA – Having failed to realize the first day of class was coming up so quickly, Canada’s teachers spent last night desperately trying to finish their lesson plans and assignment schedule…
Stephen Harper found chained to police station by caped vigilante David Suzuki
OTTAWA – Former Prime Minister and maniacal rejecter of the Kyoto Protocol Stephen Harper has kept a low profile since October, but was found early this morning chained to a police station …
