TORONTO – RBC has announced a new slogan designed to compete with Scotiabank’s popular ‘you’re richer than you think’ in which the bank assures people that they can be wealthier than they t…
Justin Trudeau misses budget vote while staring at his own reflection
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau missed a crucial vote on the proposed Liberal budget this morning after the Prime Minister spent too long staring at himself in the bathroom mirror again. “I apologi…
Toronto Sun owner Postmedia purchases the Beaverton
TORONTO – Postmedia Network Inc. (“Postmedia”) today announced the acquisition of the Beaverton website and all related print and television properties. The Beaverton, widely regarded as the prem…
Twitter hate wrongly directed at user with same name as Voldemort
FREDERICTON – In their hurry to condemn a controversial public figure on social media, hundreds of people continue to wrongfully direct angry messages, verbal abuse and harassment towards o…
Anonymous accuses dozens of people of being Donald Trump
NEW YORK — Just days after declaring “total war” on GOP frontrunner Donald Trump, hacker collective Anonymous has wasted no time in accusing dozens of private citizens around the world of b…
Rogers Wireless reports $10 million profit from people calling CRTC to complain about Rogers Cable
TORONTO – Rogers Wireless, Canada’s largest cellular communications company, achieved an unexpected $10,000,000.00 profit as a result of the amount of time Canadians are spending on their p…
Trudeau leaves note on pillow for Barack, slips out door
WASHINGTON D.C. – As the President of the United States showered, a reluctant Justin Trudeau left a note on the pillow explaining why he had to leave, then quickly exited the Lincoln bedroo…
Investigation finds that many people on Canada’s No Fly List are perfectly fly
OTTAWA – As controversy continues to mount over innocent Canadians being placed on the No Fly List, a long-running investigation claims that many people on the list are acceptably cool, tight and…
New $20 bill to feature plus-size model
OTTAWA — The Bank of Canada has revealed that the new $20 bill will display the image of a plus-size female model, marking the first time that a full-figured woman has appeared on Canadian …
Men celebrate International Women’s Day with #AllDaysMatter campaign
TORONTO – MRAs, Gamergate trolls and white men everywhere took to the internet this morning in an orchestrated attempt to “helpfully respond to” International Women’s Day by pointing out th…
