OTTAWA – After a wild night of tea and overly competitive Boggle, Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper retired to his residence at 24 Sussex Drive with his wife Laureen, where he made lov…
New wind farm built solely for clean coal commercials
SASKATOON – Energy consortium NorthAm Power has constructed a 47-turbine wind farm outside of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, solely for the purpose of being able to feature them in commercials pr…
After 40 years Steve Miller admits no one ever called him the Gangster of Love
Friday Harbour, Washington – At a press conference in front of his home legendary singer and blues guitarist Steve Miller admitted that, despite the claim in his famous song ‘The Joker’ no …
RCMP fracks aboriginal protest
REXTON – Responding to a road blockade set up by Elsipogtog First Nation members protesting SWN Resources use of Aboriginal land, the RCMP used various high-pressure techniques to fracture …
If PJ Stock does not shut up right now, he is going to find out about the switchblade I keep in my jowls
By Elliotte Friedman It is an honour to be a part of CBC’s legendary Hockey Night in Canada broadcast, and to spend the second intermission discussing the most important hockey news with so…
Activists succeed in forcing corporation to better hide its unethical activities
After years of persistent protests, boycotts, and social media campaigns dedicated to protecting third world countries from dangerous conditions in its factories, multinational corporation Simple…
Report: Everyone on subway has B.O.
TORONTO – Sources inside the 9:55 a.m. university line southbound subway have confirmed that everyone on the car does in fact, smell like shit. “Oh god,” said legal secretary Mary Cook, as …
Office Intern goes mad with lack of power
Toronto – Sources inside the financial firm Dewsom & Thrift are reporting that 24-year old unpaid office intern Eric McDonagh has gone mad with his own lack of power. “At first it was j…
Putin petitions IOC to have rainbow colours removed from Olympic symbol
MOSCOW – Following the passage of a controversial anti-gay bill in Russia, President Vladimir Putin is now attempting to remove all rainbow colours from the Olympic symbol in preparation fo…
