OTTAWA – a recent international survey of mathematical performance by the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) has concluded that Canada’s students are only the 13th best in the world, the first time the country has ever performed outside the top ten. Making matters worse, the nation’s math teachers have reported they are simply unable to figure out how this is happening.
“We were crunching numbers trying to figure out what had gone wrong,” said grade 7 teacher Jason Hogan “But the formula the OECD used was soooo complicated. We had to like use the quadratic equation to solve for X divided by pie or something.”
“They wanted us to fail. I bet nobody figured it out,” he added.
The teachers insisted they would have been able to get the answer eventually, but those “toolwads” at the OECD had imposed a strict deadline for schools to hand in their papers.
“We told them that if they just gave us the night we could have figured it out and slipped the results under their office door in the morning, but they said that would be unfair to the rest of the world,” complained Raymond Sanders of Red Deer.
At press time, the teachers just needed to carry the 1.
