NEW YORK – A judge has ruled that U.S. Federal prosecutors cannot request the death penalty against Luigi Mangione in the killing of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, citing the defendant’s chiseled good looks and “magical” smile.
In citing this precedent (Grant v Avanti (1986)) to protect Mangione’s life, Judge Garnett wrote that she did so to “prevent the jury from making the terrible decision of having to let this beautiful boy die for the simple crime of murder.”
“It is understandable that many will use this precedent to note that the victim was also very rich and one would be forgiven for thinking that this crime should have a higher penalty. However, one must also consider the fact that the defendant is from a wealthy family and is way more handsome than the victim or frankly anyone else in this courtroom.”
U.S. District Judge Margaret Garnett cited the 1986 case “Grant v Avanti,” in which former French supermodel Avanti went on trial for the murder of a fashion designer whom was alleged to have designed an unflattering dress. The judge ruled that, while she was guilty of the charge, she would not face the death penalty.
Judge Robert Fitzgerald wrote in his ruling. “We know that there are two groups of people to whom the law protects, but does not bind: the rich and the beautiful. Miss Avanti falls in both categories. Therefore, I must rule that this court finds the defendant simply too sexy to die.”
In response to the judge’s ruling, Mangione was seen smiling sheepishly and running his fingers through his thick, wavy hair that somehow maintained a beautiful sheen, despite the lack of quality hair products in prison where he is currently being held.
Garnett also dismissed a gun charge, stating that the defendant probably looks really cool with one.
