CHARLOTTETOWN – The Premier of Prince Edward Island, apparently someone named Rob Lantz, released a statement demanding a response from Ottawa on the 2019 separation referendum that resulted in the province declaring independence from Canada. According to most residents of PEI, this triggered a Canadian constitutional crisis, despite no one outside the province having heard of this vote or its result in the last six years.
“The people of this great island have stood tall and voted to leave Canada. For too long have our cries gone unanswered. For too long have our demands gone unmet. For too long has the arrogance of Canada taken Prince Edward Island for granted. Well, no more! …is what we said six years ago and we’d really appreciate some action on this front from the Federal government!” said Premier Lantz.
The referendum, ending with 59% of voters choosing independence, was held over the course of a grueling ten-month campaign that was highly publicized exclusively on the island. Among the complaints of the Islanders are being ignored at the federal level, being ignored amongst the Maritime provinces, and being ignored amongst the islands in the Gulf of St Lawrence.
The President of the St Pierre & Miquelon Territorial Council, Stéphane Arteno, reacted to questions about PEI independence, “Hmm? Oh yes. I believe we have a letter from PEI somewhere on my desk. I’ll get to it at some point. I’m sure it can wait. I’m currently organizing a party for my friends in Anticosti and Cape Breton!”
Alex Jennings, associate secretary to the Deputy Chief of the Prime Minister’s Office, acknowledged Ottawa receiving the formal declaration from the province but confessed that the staff “thought it was a joke from New Brunswick.”
Quebec separatists declined to comment on the news, though many privately admitted that PEI’s success hurt more than hearing the reasons some Albertans wanted to separate.
Most residents of PEI rank the issue as their number two priority behind talking about PEI native and Tampa Bay Lightning Hall of Famer, Brad Richards.
