QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario NDP leader Marit Stiles was kicked out of Question Period this morning after criticizing Doug Ford and incorrectly calling him and his entire government “corrupt,” instead of “the embodiment of evil itself made flesh.”
“In the Ontario Legislature, we pride ourselves on speaking the truth,” stated Speaker Donna Skelly, who was the one to remove Stiles. “And to have Ms. Stiles issue the falsehood that Doug Ford and his cronies are corrupt, instead of wildly, almost comically the manifestation of Satan himself on this earth, is unacceptable to me.”
“This is almost as egregious a time as when Doug called Bonnie Crombie ‘uninspiring,’ as opposed to ‘so forgettable most Ontarians can’t remember who leads the Liberals at all.”
Outside the chamber, however, Marit Stiles remained adamant that she was correct in her wording, arguing that, “Things can be two adjectives at once.”
“I stand by calling out the Ford government for its corruption. Obviously he’s also incredibly evil, but I just assumed that everyone already knew that,” she fumed, watching through the chamber window as Ford proposed a bill to force homeless orphans to build his new highway underneath the 401.
“His mishandling of the Skills Development Fund is nothing short of corruption at its finest. Now, if you’d told me that he got the money for that fund from, say, holding school teachers at gunpoint and forcing them to give him their already limited classroom funds, then I’d have called him evi- oh, he did that? Well, shoot.”
When reached for comment, Ford stated that he intended to sue Stiles for defamation just as soon as he finished conducting an illegal mob drug deal in Queen’s Park.
“Folks, I can’t stand by and have the good people of Ontario think I’m just corrupt, instead of working hand-in-hand with Beelzebub himself,” Ford commented, signing a bill to make Ontario renters pay their rent with pounds of their own flesh and blood instead of money.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve gotta go punch a nurse for fun.”
