HOLLYWOOD – In the wake of news that Rick and Morty co-creator Justin Roiland was charged with felony domestic abuse, Adult Swim has announced plans to sever ties with the problematic EP and to keep the show’s legions of toxic fans watching.
“What Roiland is alleged to have done was inexcusable, so both Adult Swim and Rick and Morty are ending our association with him,” explained Cartoon Network spokesperson Marla Ferns. “What hardcore fans of Rick and Morty have historically done is also inexcusable, but we’re gonna let that slide as long as those loud 8chan incels keep watching our programming.”
While Roiland has recently been charged with multiple counts related to domestic violence, a vocal subset of Rick and Morty fans have spent years both online and offline being performatively obnoxious, primarily by interpreting a show about a selfish alcoholic nihilist not as a cautionary tale, but as a blueprint for life.
“What they’re doing to Roiland is the OPPOSITE of wubba lubba dub dub!” exclaimed R&M fan MrMeeseeks69 on a recent Twitch stream. “I’m so mad that I’m gonna go scream at some McDonalds employees about why they don’t have any goddamn promotional Rick and Morty Szechuan sauce! Again!”
MrMeeseeks69 continued to insist that he would “absolutely” continue watching the upcoming Season 7 of Rick and Morty, primarily to aggressively mock whoever is cast to replace Roiland’s voices. Adult Swim spokesperson Ferns responds, “We still consider that a win for us.”
Executives at Adult Swim have been brainstorming ways to retain the angry-yet-lucrative Rick and Morty fanbase.
“We might try giving these online chuds some more female staff writers to doxx,” notes Adult Swim VP Tyler Broadcheck, “just like they immediately did the last time when we forced Roiland to finally hire any women at all. Geez, in retrospect maybe he wasn’t a great dude.”
In a related story, Rick and Morty co-creator Dan Harmon publicly thanked Roiland for making his own sexual misconduct as showrunner of Community look “not so bad by comparison”.