High gas prices putting damper on man’s plan to drive across Canada committing arson - The Beaverton

High gas prices putting damper on man’s plan to drive across Canada committing arson

— As the travel season approaches, record-breaking are already putting the brakes on many Canadians’ summer plans. Including one Nathan McGee, 28, who may have to skip his annual tradition of across the country, carving a burning wake of destruction.

“It’s never been this bad before,” said a crest-fallen McGee. “I’ve worked out the costs and just getting to Banff will run me almost $200, and that’s not even including the fuel that it’ll take to set a medium-sized park ablaze.”

A perfect storm of geopolitical tensions, supply chain issues and post- demand has caused the price at the pump to surge forcing many pyro-Canadians to cut back on trips to businesses they want to purify through cleansing flame. 

McGee has explored options to mitigate the cost involved in reducing a Saskatoon laundromat to smouldering embers including making fewer stops, carpooling and switching to alternative accelerants like hay or turpentine.

“I actually had plans to do a rideshare with a couple from the Interior”, he begins. “But things fell through when it became clear their was sex-motivated, and I’m not kink-shaming or anything, I didn’t want to spend the whole trip being a 3rd wheel.”

Even longer-term, McGee says he plans to swap his gas-powered car for an EV.  “I was really impressed by the Tesla’s ability to suddenly erupt into flames for no reason. But having to plan a route with a lot of down-time at superchargers isn’t feasible when you’re fleeing Winnipeg at 3AM, sirens blaring in the night.

Even if stranded on the west coast, the young fire-starter still intends to make the most of the gorgeous arid . “It’ll be fun to see flammable hidden gems exist in my own backyard and maybe I’ll drive up to Squamish for a few days  and check out the local forest fire scene.”