PAWTUCKET, RI – As the US healthcare system struggles under the weight of new Omicron admissions, toy and board game maker Hasbro has announced that all non-critical games of Operation will be postponed until further notice.
”It’s heart-breaking”, says Sally Fong, a second-grader at Norwood Elementary. “I just finished a consultation with a patient who had a family history of ‘Butterflies in Stomach’ and we were all set to perform the procedure at recess.”
“But now it looks like all I’ll be playing is the waiting game,” laments Fong, taking a drag on a candy cigarette.
While the move has proven to be unpopular with children of all ages, Hasbro has defended its decision.
“This is a sad but necessary measure at this stage of the pandemic”, said Hasbro in a public statement .“By doing this we hope to reduce the strain on the pretend healthcare system as well as fill vacancies in other imaginary medical roles like make-believe public health officer or biostatistician.
The statement also reiterated that urgent and emergency games of Operation would not be affected by this order and proceed as normal.
However, some experts disagree. Bradley Milton, board game advocate and fan of the popular tweezer-based dexterity puzzle, opines the potential dangers of postponing ‘elective’ games.
“Just because a game of Operation is elective, doesn’t mean it’s unnecessary or not important. Studies have shown that pushing back an Operation by even a week can have a drastic effect on the player’s quality of fun; with those players 45% more likely to suffer negative surgical outcomes like missing game pieces or the batteries running out.”
In related news, tensions threatened to boil over between Russia and Ukraine today after the Kremlin declared that NATO putting all their Battleships along the edges of the grid to be cheating.