“This is a ‘have’ province,” Kenney said, in reference to having the country’s worst COVID rate. “And it’s time for the ‘have-not’ provinces to start pulling their weight.”
“Alberta has powered Canada’s COVID numbers throughout the entire pandemic, while other provinces have lazily coasted by with almost no contribution at all. Canadian Confederation simply cannot work if other provinces don’t match our incredible commitment to overloading morgues and triaging surgeries.”
Kenney went on to complain about Quebec receiving special treatment from Ottawa, arguing that Alberta is also a distinct society capable of producing COVID hotspots that require the military to intervene. He then demanded improved infrastructure and less inter-provincial red tape to create a proverbial pipeline for transferring COVID-riddled Albertans across the continent.
Premier Scott Moe backed Kenney’s argument, saying that Saskatchewan, a fellow ‘have’ province, cannot stand by and watch other parts of Canada enjoy empty ICUs at their expense. “I want to be clear that we are also making tremendous contributions to Canada’s COVID deaths,” Moe said, “and Eastern Canada is failing to appreciate our efforts.”
Meanwhile, western separatists claim that Alberta simply produces too many ICU patients for the rest of Canada to keep up, and that separation would create a new nation with powerful COVID hospitalisation numbers capable of standing out on the international stage.
Albertans will go to the polls in October for a non-binding referendum asking whether they believe Canada’s other provinces should increase their own COVID rates to make Alberta’s look better. Meanwhile, Kenney was demanding that Eastern Canada’s arrogant Laurentian Elites airlift Alberta’s COVID patients to their hospitals.