OTTAWA – Under fire for not properly vetting Julie Payette before selecting her as Canada’s Governor General, Justin Trudeau pointed out today that too much vetting can actually be a bad thing, as it would have likely prevented him from becoming Prime Minister.
“I get people are annoyed we didn’t hire a team of investigators to uncover every little skeleton in her closet, like a domestic assault charge or the fact that she killed someone with her car,” said Trudeau. “But if Liberals had looked too deep into my background of doing brown face multiple times they never would have made me Party Leader, and then Prime Minister!”
“And I think we can all agree that would have been a tragedy for our country. Right guys?…Right?”
Many in the PMO say they employed the same system with Payette that they originally used when Trudeau was running for leader and everyone agreed to ignore the story about him groping a reporter. This included asking how good Payette was at symbolic gestures and inquiring whether she would “be cool?”
“I just don’t know how our system let us down. We’re the Liberal Party of Canada. We’re not used to scandals,” said chief of staff Katie Telford.
The Liberals are planning a much more intensive investigation of their next candidate, which will include deep background checks and interviews with former co-workers, unless Chris Hadfield wants the gig in which case fuck it he can start tomorrow.