TORONTO – Toronto Police Services are issuing a warning to those violating mandatory quarantine rules or breaking other public health laws to combat the spread of COVID-19: you will get a serious selfie.
Dept. Chief James Ramer says officers have been ordered to investigate and pose with all anti-mask leaders while they host raves, protests, and other super-spreader events.
“You’ll be lucky if our officers are smiling because we’re clearly not happy about what you’re doing,” said Ramer. “We’re going to come down hard on these people and issue a maximum of five photos at the illegal event they’re hosting.”
Photographic proof will help the Crown prosecute the offenders on charges of likeability, coolness, and “being dangerous,” but Ramer is appealing to the public for more support.
“Please report anyone who has been breaking their 14-day quarantine after visiting another country, because that’s pretty badass and I know many of our officers would love to meet that person,” added Ramer.
Repeat violators who flout federal, provincial, and municipal laws that prevent people from dying may be required to model with the police’s tactical squad for a calendar shoot.
At press time, Toronto Police said that if people breaking pandemic laws don’t care, then neither do they.