Where are all these Covid parties and why am I not invited? - The Beaverton

Where are all these Covid parties and why am I not invited?

by Bridgette Moi

The recent spike of cases in Vancouver has people worried, and believe me, I am too. People are gathering on boats, in clubs, and in houses, throwing parties and probably having wild, unprotected sex in droves. As someone who is in the age range of those primarily causing the outbreak in this city, I can’t help but wonder, am I not cool enough to be invited to these parties?

I consider myself a relatively easy-going person. I drink alcohol and I’ve stopped getting scared when people do in front of me. My parents are cool enough to not care how long I stay out on weekends. And, I can quote almost every line from The Office if people don’t join in and interrupt me.

I feel as if I would be an amazing guest at anyone’s soirée. So why, am I not spending my nights dancing my 20s away in a crowd of perfect strangers in the midst of a global pandemic? I am an extremely fun person to have around… plus I can do the worm!

Everytime I ask my friends if they want to go out for a night on the town they say things like “Vancouver has the highest rate of cases it’s ever had,” “We should really be limiting our social bubbles to 6 people,” or “Bridgette, we sat beside each other in French class 10 years ago why are you talking to me?” Frankly, all I hear are excuses.

The summer of 2020 is coming to a close and I haven’t made out with nearly enough people. Recently I’ve resorted to going out by myself, walking around neighbourhoods and listening for rambunctious back-yard parties or secret raves. I’ve gotten addicted to the rush of sneaking into places, standing around, and then leaving because I’m anxious around new people. I’ve snuck into rooms, clubs, and the occasional party bus, but boat parties remain my white whale.

During these strange and unprecedented times, we are all feeling a little lonely. plays a big part in physical health… so you’re actually making Covid worse by excluding me from your fun parties.

So to all the other Vancouverites out there looking for another cool and hip twenty-something to party with, hit me up! All of my grandparents are dead anyways, so I’m good to go!