By J.K. Rowling
I know you may be angry with me about some recent ‘truth potions’ I threw your way. But before you go and judge me please remember; I will sue you.
I feel it is my duty to point out how this intolerant society is hurting those of us who dare to question intellectual orthodoxy – namely me and my millionaire friends. There is a war on thought happening right now and the lifeblood of this liberal society is being constricted by the people retweeting me and pointing out the very obvious fallacies in my arguments. So I am here to say: This. Ends. Now.
This injustice I am living through is just like how in the Order of the Phoenix when the Ministry of Magic tried to stop Harry Potter from criticizing them. They were actually the good guys, I don’t know if you caught that on the first read. Or like that scene in the Prisoner of Azkaban when Neville Longbottom was trying to point out the inadequacies of the prison system but then they sent him a cease and desist letter. I want you to know that you are all Neville Longbottom to me, and I mean that in the worst possible way.
I, as a fiction writer on children’s literature, should not be “cancelled” or even lightly criticized for writing passionately about things I know nothing about. It is my god given right to talk about whatever I want including things I have no understanding of, just like it is your god given right to keep my name out of your mouth unless you want to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees.
I’m just telling it like it is. I will defend someone like Donald Trump’s right to free speech before I let a publication call me transphobic for some transphobic tweets I penned with my exquisite quill. And I will have you know that the aforementioned publication has since apologized to me and my army of high priced lawyers.
Just remember that I told you many years after the fact that Dumbledore was gay in a manner that in no way affected the books. Isn’t that enough? What do I have to do? Apologize for being wrong? That’s such a Ravenclaw thing to say.