GENEVA, SWITZERLAND – After months of uncertainty about their susceptibility to COVID-19, the World Health Organization announced that dogs could resume eating a single piece of spaghetti until they share a little smooch.
Canines around the world have been struggling with social distancing due to early tests that seemed to show they could be infected by the novel coronavirus. This resulted in sweeping cancellations of candlelit dinners behind restaurants for fancy dogs, as well as mutts.
Restaurant owners were told to sit the dogs separately for the safety of the animals and the humans around them. And to prevent the adorable pooches from gently nudging meatballs with their noses from one plate to another.
“We had a [dog] couple come here the other week,” said Giuseppe Urbani, proprietor of Gio Trattoria. “You could tell that despite the vast differences in the way they were raised they clearly liked each other. So it broke our hearts to have to throw two little piles of scraps behind the dumpster instead of serving them a white tablecloth dinner.”
However since dogs are not great hosts to the virus, romance is free to blossom once again. Kindly small town restaurateurs can serve dogs anything from spaghetti and meatballs to cartoonishly giant hocks of ham. Many proprietors are relieved to welcome back the revenue stream as cities go into lockdown across the world. “The dogs usually don’t have any money, but they pay for the meals with a little wag of their tails. I just hope that’s enough to keep the lights on,” concluded Urbani.
Despite pups now cleared to travel and go on adventures, the WHO is still encouraging them to make sure to wash their paws frequently, especially after coming into contact with human beings.