NAPIERVILLE, QC – Following a heated discussion during a family dinner about the same topics those present typically argued about online, all members of the Chernak family agreed that it lacked the thrill of a quality flame war.
“It started out the same way it always does on Facebook, with somebody saying what’s really wrong with this country,” explained Philippe Chernak. “I was excited to really get into it, but halfway through telling my aunt that she was an ignorant tool this weird thing happened where I saw on her face that I’d hurt her feelings. It was like watching a gif, but sad.”
Philippe’s aunt Denise agreed that the comment stung more in person: “There’s just something so unsettling about hearing words like that and not being able to respond with a link to a 75 minute YouTube video.”
During the course of the debate, not a single friend from outside the family chimed in to like arguments made by people they agreed with, even when Philippe’s sister Victoria Chernak referenced a theory that all of her classmates normally would have backed her up on. “It was like they weren’t even there,” Victoria was later heard saying, in reference to her 853 followers.
“The worst part,” stated Philippe, “was when I finally explained that my dad’s ideas weren’t that far off from what Hitler believed, I could see everybody at the table rolling their eyes. Couldn’t they just post a link to the Wikipedia page for Godwin’s Law or something less harsh like that?”
Those present at dinner who were not participating in the argument itself lamented that none of the foods at the table were quite right for recreating the Michael-Jackson-eating-popcorn meme.
Following the dispute, all members of the Chernak family agreed that the one quality that the exchange did share with their online arguments was that none of them succeeded in changing one another’s opinions about anything.