Nuclear technician wishes that alarm in the background would cut it out - The Beaverton
https://babylonbee.com/news/uc-berkeley-opposing-view-alarms-blaring-conservative-speaker-arrives-campus

Nuclear technician wishes that alarm in the background would cut it out

LOCATION CLASSIFIED — 14 hours into an 18 hour shift at a nuclear missile silo, technician Jordan Summers has expressed a wish that that “dang alarm would cut it out already.”

“I’m still kinda hungover from my 21st birthday party yesterday,” said Summers, “My head is just pounding and it’s not like there’s a snooze button I can press”

The alarm went unnoticed for several minutes, in part because Summers was watching Chernobyl in the break room and thought the sound was coming from his laptop.

“Usually there’s a light that goes with the alarm. I guess that’s not working for some reason,” said Launch Officer Spencer Holloway, “But it doesn’t sound like one of the important ones, so I think it’s OK”.

Summers has reportedly been pressing buttons in the hopes that one of them will turn off the alarm, but according to Holloway this isn’t a long term solution: “To really solve the problem, you have to find the right terminal and like, bang it a few times”.

While Holloway is in favour of just leaving it for the next shift to figure out, Summers has suggested taking the console apart and disconnecting the speakers. “I would have done it already, but it got really hard to see when all the red lights turned on”.

“But now I don’t think I’ll have to. I’m pretty sure the alarm will stop when that countdown reaches zero”.