GATINEAU, QC – In a rare display of self-reflection, the Liberals, Conservatives, NDP, Greens, Bloc and People’s Party admitted that their opponents fared much better in the federal leaders debate last night.
“The night belonged to Ms May,” said a deflated Conservative Party spokesperson. “Hands down, she presented a clear policy backed up by evidence while Andrew Scheer was distracted and barely heard.”
Liberal Leader Justin Trudeau said NDP Leader Jagmeet Singh clearly won with some great one liners and a calm demeanor.
“He sounded so professional,” said Justin Trudeau of his NDP opponent. “And so suave too. He had the audience eating out of his hand.”
Singh, in turn, said that he really didn’t bring much to the contest when faced with the debating skills of the Bloc leader.
“Some people thought I won the debate, but that’s only because they had zero expectations as I already conceded defeat before the campaign started,” said Singh in a post debate scrum. “But, let me tell you, Yves Francois Blanchet was in the driver’s seat the whole time. His smooth voice lulls opponents into his clever traps and then makes you look foolish.”
“I just couldn’t stop agreeing with Bernier on ending corporate subsidies,” said Elizabeth May. “The way he charged in head first into the issues without regard for other speakers or a sense of dignity…I may disagree with him, but his eloquence is astounding.
He didn’t even need facts to be persuasive,” added May.
