Alberta economy makes transition to renewable sources of anger - The Beaverton

Alberta economy makes transition to renewable sources of anger

CALGARY – With Prime Minister winning the most seats in his second election, Premier ’s UPC government as well as many and gas companies have started to make large investments in sources of renewable rage and disgust.

Instead boom-bust fits about having Trudeau for a Prime Minister, the province has already turned the animosity into an inexhaustible source western resentment, even a western Canada separation movement.

“We haven’t been harvesting the potential energy in angry white men with a lot of money to its full potential,” said a Suncor spokesperson. “But now, we can put an increased heart rate, excessive eye-rolling, and false victimhood to good use.”

Long term anger about the treatment of the dying oil and gas sector and having to do something about climate change now makes up 90% sources of anger in .

Many Albertans have also embraced a more sustainable way of losing your shit when talking about national politics.

“I don’t know how equalization works, but dammit, I know that Alberta gets screwed somehow!” said a local man who has been producing enough anger to power 100 houses for four years.

At press time, Premier Kenney’s government announced the construction of 500 middle fingers directed at Ottawa.