OTTAWA — As the Liberal electoral campaign is rocked by revelations that Justin Trudeau has worn both black and brownface, the embattled PM has quietly asked aides how long it will be until people are once again “chill” with him donning his favourite facepaint.
“He keeps asking, ‘It can’t be more than, like, a couple of weeks, right?’” said one anonymous Parliament staffer. “We keep telling him to focus on the campaign and stop thinking about blackface, but apparently it’s just something he genuinely enjoys doing.”
Meanwhile, on the campaign trail, Prime Minister Trudeau offered yet another apology for his past racist behaviour, this time at a fish-canning plant in Newfoundland.
“I understand that my previous dressing up in makeup to play a person of a different race was insensitive and hurtful, and I am deeply sorry,” Trudeau told the crowd of factory workers. “But also, Halloween is coming up, so let me know when I’m out of the penalty box.”
“While I understand why people are upset, I also bought this sweet Black Panther Halloween costume and I–” Trudeau added before he was physically wrestled away from the podium by campaign advisor Gerald Butts.
While Trudeau’s blackface incidents all took place in 2001 or earlier, Liberal staffers report the PM remains oddly fixated on how soon he can “bust out (my) makeup kit and let ‘er rip.” Aides have scrambled to distract the PM from his blackface fixation by organizing extra campaign stops, finding obscure Pride Parades for him to march in, and even announcing an impromptu summit where he can once again be ogled by Ivanka Trump.
At press time, Trudeau has reportedly become disconcertingly interested in a book about Dutch Christmas traditions, namely “Zwarte Piet”, aka “Black Peter”.