Unimaginative Alice in Wonderland School play contains total lack of psychedelic drugs - The Beaverton

Unimaginative Alice in Wonderland School play contains total lack of psychedelic drugs

Whitby, ON – A production of staged at P.L. Thomas Elementary has reportedly disappointed many audience members due to the directors and cast’s unfortunate failure to explore the 1865 children’s story’s true meaning as a chronicle of a psychedelic drug trips’ terrifying highs and lows.

“Honestly, the lack of vision in this production is really astounding,” Bryce Timsin, uncle of 9-year-old Eleanor Timsin, who played Tweedle Dee, told reporters. “The lighting, the sound—sure, it was colourful and fun, but it’s almost like it never occurred to them that Alice is really a metaphor for the terrified psyche of a person dropping a large to medium dose of for the first time.”

The production, directed by the school’s Literature and Language teacher Laura Nibin, emphasized friendship, perseverance, and trust in logical reasoning. However, P.L. Thomas’s Principal Leon Fess reportedly commented that, the “really needed, bare minimum, a Jefferson Airplane music cue or something,” apparently in reference to the 1967 rock anthem “White Rabbit”, which chronicles a multi-day acid trip.

“At least show us you’ve put some thought into exploring the story’s real themes—give us a glimpse into Lewis Carroll’s mind,” he added, referring to Alice in Wonderland’s author, who is believed to have never used recreational .

“If I’d known it was going to be so pedestrian I’d have eaten the other half of that edible beforehand.”

Theatregoers were especially disheartened by the portrayal of the hookah-smoking caterpillar by 7-year-old Madison Lim and 10-year-old Kyle Smith, as the character’s front and back halves, respectively.

“Yeah, that was where the lack of vision really showed,” 41-year old attendee and PTA president Leah Marlin told reporters. “Like, they actually had two kids in the suit. What a perfect opportunity to show the duality of being high—you’re one person, but there’s also this other person, lurking, right behind you, but they’re also in your body. Boy, did those little kids blow it.”

“Seriously. I thought you had to be an honour student to be in the play.”

In addition to reportedly failing to understand the play’s origins in psychedelic drugs, viewers were also saddened by its failure to acknowledge its roots in the 1999 film The Matrix, the influential television drama Lost, and Netflix’s interactive film Bandersnatch.

Despite their disappointment, audience members expressed optimism about next year’s school play.

“I hear they’re doing Peter Pan next year. I think even this bunch will be able to highlight it’s allegorical themes about the 2008 financial crisis”

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