OTTAWA – Struggling to field candidates in all 338 ridings for the 2019 federal election, the NDP is now offering members who decide to run some free perks, including a ‘pretty nice’ NDP brand tote bag.
“Just by signing up to run in Markham-Stouffvile or Fundy-Royal you will get this limited edition, environmentally friendly tote,” said leader Jagmeet Singh as he lightly ran his fingers across the front, showing how soft the material is.
“You don’t even have to win. In fact, you almost certainly won’t! You just need to try your best,” Singh added.
Party brass were quick to point out how useful a good tote can be in this day and age. Members can use them for their grocery shopping, or to carry the binders of policy information they will need to prepare for their candidates’ debates.
Although a tote bag may seem like poor compensation for the months of work a candidate would need to do fundraising, giving speeches and canvassing, Singh was quick to point out that this tote bag had ‘super thick handles’ which means they won’t rip for at least a few years.
“Call now and we’ll even throw in same day shipping on the tote!” advised Singh, although it wasn’t clear exactly what phone number prospective candidates should call.
If the ‘tote’ strategy does not pay off for them, the NDP is confident they have other tricks up their sleeves. These include steak knives, two tote bags, and begging Jody Wilson-Raybould to run for them.