Have you ever wanted to know obscure, pointless, and flat-out inaccurate facts about this great nation, which will also leave you feeling kinda bummed out? Well, have we got a list for you! Check out these 7 factoids about Canada that are just wrong in so so many ways!
1. Everyday at 4 pm the Queen of England orders the burning of ten acres of pristine Brazilian rainforest in honour of Canada’s independence.
2. There are no famous Canadian drummers, as percussion instruments are prohibited in all of its 16 districts under penalty of death by drowning chair.
3. Canada was originally named “Upper Wisconsin”, until the “Great Massacre of Moose Jaw” in 1882.
4. Canada was founded by William Canada after his ship crash landed on the shores of Saskatchewan. Though his crew eventually died of scurvy, William was able to survive by eating and living inside their corpses.
5. 90% of all plastic in the ocean comes from single use milk bags from Ontario.
6. Every Canadian home must display at least 4 framed photographs of Celine Dion. Failure to comply may result in foreclosure and three years hard labour in the salt mines of Manitoba.
7. It is customary to greet a Canadian by saying ‘double double’ as it means both “hello” and “goodbye”, and shows respect to their unholy demon God, Horton the disemboweller.