WASHINGTON D.C. – An explosive new book by legendary reporter Bob Woodward entitled “Fear: Trump In The White House” exploded onto the political scene yesterday morning by suggesting that sitting U.S. President Donald Trump is not good but rather, quite bad.
“Mr. Woodward conducted hundreds of hours with people who have served in this White House, and obtained numerous primary documents in the form of notes, diaries and memos,” said Simon & Schuster rep Peter Elliott. “All of which paint a daming picture of Mr. Trump’s presidency as being real crummy.”
“We know the revelation that Mr. Trump is bad will shock a lot of people, but we felt it was our duty to put the truth out there for the low price of $35.00.”
The book describes numerous outrageous scenes inside the Trump White House, including him being mean, saying swears and even making decisions that are harmful to the country he leads.
“If only we had some evidence that Trump would be like this before the election,” said Republican voter Wendy Hoskins.
Other bombshell excerpts depict President Trump as being unfamiliar with basic facts and the duties of his job, which presidential scholars have described as kind of the exact opposite of what you want in a president.
“I just don’t know how Donald Trump can survive the revelation that he is not competent at his job. I mean, to do so roughly half the country would have to be angry, reactionary nationalists who don’t care that the President is a buffoon as long as he continues to anger the liberals, jews and people of colour they hate,” said CNN analyst John King.
Woodward’s book is so surprising and well-researched that is expected to dominate the news cycle until 5 minutes ago when Trump did something else crazy and everyone forgot all about this.
At press time a brave and courageous topical late-night tv show host had spoken truth to power by calling Trump orange and stupid.