WASHINGTON D.C. – Recent polling data has astounded political experts with results suggesting that support for the impeachment of President Donald Trump has reached 99% among those who live and w…
Tag: White House
Trump still chanting “lock him up” as staffers afraid to break news that baseball fans meant him
WASHINGTON D.C. — Following an appearance at Game 5 of the World Series where attendees overwhelmingly chanted “lock him up”, President Trump has reportedly continued the chant unaware that…
Contrite Acosta insists given second chance he would hide Epstein’s sex trafficking completely differently
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following this week’s indictment of wealthy serial child abuser Jeffrey Epstein, Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta responded has discussed his involvement in a controversia…
Sarah Sanders looking forward to spending more time lying to her family
WASHINGTON, DC – U.S. President Donald Trump has announced that Sarah Huckabee Sanders will be leaving her post as White House press secretary at the end of June, following nearly two years…
Redacted Mueller Report reads: “████ Trump ████ ███ not ██ ████ ██ guilty ████”
WASHINGTON, DC — After refusing to release the full Mueller Report for several weeks, Attorney General William Barr has cleared the report for public consumption, which states, “██████████ …
OPINION: I am part of the Resistance inside the Galactic Empire
By: Anonymous (note: The Beaverton is taking the rare step of publishing an anonymous Op-Ed essay. We have done so at the request of the author, a senior Commander on the Death Star whose identit…
Shocking new book suggests Trump bad
WASHINGTON D.C. – An explosive new book by legendary reporter Bob Woodward entitled “Fear: Trump In The White House” exploded onto the political scene yesterday morning by suggesting that s…
Trump insists tape of him using n-word doesn’t exist, was just a joke, and also is the best tape of anybody using any slur
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Following the release of an audio recording of candidate Donald Trump’s aides discussing how to spin an alleged tape of the former reality TV host using the n-word, the …
White House sources reveal Trump still using Obama’s Netflix password
WASHINGTON D.C. – Sources inside the White House recently confirmed reports that President Donald Trump has been stealing Netflix by using former president Barack Obama’s account. The Obama…
Trump wondering how long he has to wait before offering Papa John cabinet position
WASHINGTON, D.C.- Sources within the Trump administration are reporting that the president has asked many of his top aides how long he has to pretend that he is not going to offer recently resign…