UNITED STATES – Diehard supporters of President Donald Trump are expressing their dismay at the realization that he may never shoot a man in cold blood on Fifth Avenue like he swore he would do. …
Tag: White House
Eric Trump still in line at Apple Store to vote
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Eyewitnesses report President Trump’s son is still in line at the Georgetown Apple Store, waiting to cast his vote in the 2020 Presidential Election which stopped accepti…
Leaked documents reveal Trump met with West Coast wildfire in early July
Washington, D.C. – Recently leaked documents from the White House reveal President Donald Trump had a secret meeting with the deadly wildfires currently burning across the west coast of Nor…
Trump vows to wow RNC audiences by crawling out of their televisions and strangling them
WASHINGTON, D.C. – On Night 4 of the 2020 Republican National Convention, President Donald Trump has promised viewers that he will win their votes once and for all by crawling out of their televi…
Career woman settles
WASHINGTON – Sources confirm that US Senator, former prosecutor and California Attorney General, and lifelong career gal Kamala Harris has finally decided to share her ticket with someone. “Sure,…
As U.S. celebrates 155 years since end of slavery, Canada celebrates 153 years of pretending we never had slavery
OTTAWA – Yesterday the U.S. commemorated Juneteenth, the day widely regarded as marking the official end of slavery in the U.S., and today Canada is preparing to celebrate our 153rd straigh…
Little Free Library implements more comprehensive Covid-19 strategy than White House
Eugene, OR- Following mounting concern for public safety during the current pandemic, a local Little Free Library is paving the way for appropriate crisis management after issuing a more comprehe…
New Twilight novel leads to mass riots as world forced to choose between Edward and Jacob once again
FORKS, WA – Fifteen years after the vampire-romance novel Twilight was published, author Stephanie Meyer has announced that a prequel will be released this August. The news of the upcoming …
Support for impeachment reaches 99% among occupants of White House
WASHINGTON D.C. – Recent polling data has astounded political experts with results suggesting that support for the impeachment of President Donald Trump has reached 99% among those who live and w…
Trump still chanting “lock him up” as staffers afraid to break news that baseball fans meant him
WASHINGTON D.C. — Following an appearance at Game 5 of the World Series where attendees overwhelmingly chanted “lock him up”, President Trump has reportedly continued the chant unaware that…