EDMONTON—Local man Tim Creyer, 27, has reportedly been judged by his parents’ friends to have reached an age old enough for him to hear and participate in conversations using adult language
“I was pretty startled by it at first,” a shaken but proud Creyer told reporters. “I was in the kitchen chopping celery for dinner with my Mom’s best friend Marlene. She dropped the bowl of lettuce she was holding. I was expecting her to say “ah darn it”. But she just said “Shit!”. Like it was no big deal.”
“Like I was Clint Eastwood, or something.”
This shift comes as a sharp change to the older adults in question, who have until now gone to great lengths to avoid using curse words around Creyer.
Creyer’s aunt, Lisa Thompson advised that “in 2004 when my boss fired me for being late I was talking to Timmy’s mum about it, and [a then 14-year-old] Timmy walked in the room. I had to switch to calling it a “gosh darn fudgeup”.
“I’ve known Timmy since he was in diapers,” Jim Liu, the Creyer’s neighbour, said. “It feels like just yesterday he was a baby who would cry if he heard the word “poopy”. But last week, I saw just a little bit of a crow’s foot under his eye and I then I realized it was finally time for him to hear hear me say “fuck this fucking bullshit” when I stubbed my toe.”
“And dog shit!” Liu added. “That’s a one of my favourites!”
Dispite some initial discomfort with the newfound trust placed in him, Creyer has adjusted to this new phase of his life with grace and humility. “I know that being mature enough to hear your uncles, aunts and role models use speak like they do around their peers is a privilege, and I won’t abuse it.”
Creyer’s family are optimistic about the new phase of his life and look forward to the day when he reaches an age where he is finally old enough to swear in front of them, hopefully sometime before his retirement.