Help! I don’t know I’m a terrible parent! - The Beaverton
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Help! I don’t know I’m a terrible parent!

Oh boy, am I in over my head!

And the worst part about it? I don’t even realize it.

Here I am, in the grocery store, when one of my kids asks me question. You know, the kind of basic question that seven-year-olds ask? But given that I am absolutely not a good parent and also that I don’t know I’m not a good parent, I lose it! I mean, I’m screaming at my own kid in the middle of aisle three! I tell her to “shut the F up!” (sorry, don’t want to repeat the swears).

Like, wow! Talk about overreaction!

I mean, to me. Talk about overreaction to me.

Gosh darn it! Can someone – possibly you – enlighten me to what is obvious to everyone else except for myself? That I am unfit to raise children? I need to know these things!

But maybe you’re thinking that was just one time and I should get a pass. But that would be misguided. I assure you, this is not an isolated incident. I mean, if you thought the yelling was bad, that’s just the stuff I let people see in public! Can you imagine how bad it is at home?

I wish I could tell you how bad it is at home, but I have no idea, on account of my ignorance regarding how poorly I am parenting these days. So, again, can you help? It’s unfair to both me and my children to keep this information to yourself. Maybe if I knew how badly I was messing this up, I’d change?

You know what would be great? If you saw me in the grocery store, just provide me with a friendly, “Hey, relax. Your kid just asked a question. Stop being a God-awful parent.”

Actually, now that I think about it, if you said that to me, I’d probably say something like, “F you buddy! Do you have kids?” And because this kind of conflict with stranger happens regularly, I’m ready with a retort depending on either a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’ response. If yes, I say something like: “Then you go look after your own kids and mind your own f-ing business before smack the S out of you.” Or in the event of a ‘no’ response: “Then you don’t know what it’s like, a-hole! Mind your own f-ing business before I…” well, you get the picture.

Jeeze, I bet that would teach you to keep your mouth shut and never interfere again, huh? Oh man! What a pickle I’m in! How am I ever going to figure out that I’m ill-equipped to look after children if no one is willing to confront my overly aggressive personality?

You know, I sure wish someone told my parents that they were bad parents. Or maybe I wish they had to pass a test, or get a license or something. Anything than just blindly trusting my mom and dad with raising me, because I can attest that that trust was unfounded.

Oh well!

It’s really sad when you think about it. Right now, my shocking unpreparedness for the responsibility of being a parent should really be a wake up call for me, but sadly, I’m far too emotionally stunted by my own incompetent and traumatic upbringing that I barely can take care of myself, let alone another human being! It’s ridiculous! How am I supposed to get better at this? Boy! This is like a rubric’s cube sinking in quicksand, am I right?

Oh well, I hope someone does something! I mean, I’m sure as hell not going to.

Well, gotta go, it’s been several hours and I should probably let my kids out of the car.

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