KITCHENER, ON – Sources report that Brody Richards, 33, desires to bring small humans into the world while apparently unaware that he will also be required to parent them. “Oh yeah, I can’t wait …
Tag: parenting
Physicists launch study of temporal paradox allowing people younger than you to have kids already
COPENHAGEN – An international coalition of scientists with expertise in quantum mechanics, wave theory and atomic structure have assembled at the Nils Bohr Institute to tackle the newly-discovere…
Toddler guzzling bathwater like Nero at Bacchanal in waning days of Roman Empire
EDMONTON – Sources from deep within the Robertson household on bath night have confirmed that two year old toddler Sophie has been spotted insatiably devouring cup after cup of bathwater in a hed…
EDITORIAL: Why I’m not letting my kids use social media except the YouTube channel they star in that pays our mortgage
By Ashley Drin Today’s children are under more scrutiny than ever, thanks to the toxic forces of social media. The endless, crushing pressure to expose their most vulnerable moments, private thou…
Parent who should absolutely never have had children demands say in child’s education
ORILLIA, ON ― Kyle Gardner, the father of four young children whose only hope for becoming decent humans is the public education system, is demanding the right to bypass the public education syst…
Editorial: Kids today are overprotected! I died in a fire.
OLD TOWN OF YORK – Look, I’m not someone who rises from the grave easily. I’m just a normal taxpayer like anyone else. I keep my head down, visit the dying, scare cats, and I don’t get exci…
Toddler slamming on xylophone mistaken for jazz legend
CALGARY – This past Saturday evening, toddler Jacob Williams was mistaken for jazz legend Duke Ellington while slamming on his xylophone. Jacob was gifted the xylophone at his third birthda…
Local mother and father play a rousing round of Who is the Tiredest?
MONCTON – After growing weary of their regular routine of parenting of three young children, Tony Garcia and Emma Weston managed to bring excitement and joie-de-vivre back into their lives …
Local Buddhist parents frustrated as child desires nothing for Christmas
NORTH DELTA – Local parents Leonard Durry and Evan Takada, practising Buddhists and parents of Avyda Durry-Takada, age 8, have been stymied by their daughter’s total lack of interest in rec…
Robot’s parents very proud of her for finally passing CAPTCHA test
CALGARY – After years of trying to pass one of the ubiquitous CAPTCHA tests that are designed to be inscrutable to artificial intelligences, local humanoid robot LV82245, known to her frien…
