OMAHA, NE – A group of Conservative MPs have rented a charter bus to deliver their rhetorical performances to TV stations, newspapers, town halls, and anyone else willing to listen as part of their Khadr Settlement Outrage US Tour.
The 40 seat vehicle will help Tory MPs like Michelle Rempel, Peter Kent, and Pierre Poilievre crisscross the continental USA where they will sing their tunes of populist anger towards Canada’s rule of law, the Prime Minister, and, of course, the former child soldier who was abandoned by the Canadian government while being tortured.
“It has been a really great tour thus far,” said Poilievre. “We’ve got media gigs lined up in Wichita, Dallas, Tusla, Birmingham, and St. Louis. All of us have so much talent pissing off Americans right before key NAFTA negotiations are set to begin.”
The band of Parliamentarians got their first big break when Peter Kent’s solo editorial in the Wall Street Journal connected with American audiences, and written as though Americans could vote in Canadian elections.
And the populist message clearly resonated with some Americans.
“I have never heard of Justin Trudeau before, and I already hate him,” Andy Jackson of Starkville, Mississippi after watching Michelle Rempel’s performance on Fox News with Tucker Carlson. “Why would he give $8 million to a terrorist who killed an American soldier? We should invade or just nuke them.”
The Conservative Party is also selling tour t-shirts that declare ‘Canada Supports Terrorists’, ‘Terrorists Deserve Torture’, and ‘Terrorism Aside, We’re Great Trading Partners’ along with a list of each US city the tour plans to stop at for $20 each.