Quiz: Which of these unfinished cartons of eggnog are you? - The Beaverton
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Quiz: Which of these unfinished cartons of eggnog are you?

It’s Christmas, which means it’s eggnog season! There’s so much wonderful eggnog to drink, and so little time to drink it all. Which of these unfinished cartons of eggnog are you? We simply have to know.

1. Question #1: Where in the fridge are you?
A. Front and centre
B. On the door
C. Way in the back, behind the produce.
D. Poppop’s old fridge in the basement
2. Question #2: What is your expiration date?
A. Dec 27th, 2016. Still fresh!
B. Dec 3rd, 2016. Take a whiff, maybe you’re still good.
C. Dec 28th, 2013. Uh oh, that’s some old eggnog.
D. Jan 2nd, 1988. HAH, 90’s kid!
3. Question #3: What type of eggnog are you?
A. Classic eggnog; can’t go wrong with that.
B. Pumpkin eggnog; ooh, how festive!
C. Organic soy eggnog; for the folks who hate milk but somehow still like eggnog
D. I’m not sure, the label is worn away
4. Question #4: What do you think you should be mixed with?
A. Rum, timeless and tasty.
B. Serve me straight up, I am some delicious eggnog.
C. Something strong, that’s for sure.
D. This eggnog is not for drinking.
5. Question #5: Which Friends character are you, and which carton of eggnog are they?
A. Joey. “Aaa, I’m right in the front of the fridge. How you doin’?”
B. Chandler. “Could I be any more on the door?”
C. Phoebe. “Smelly eggnog, back of the fridge.”
D. Gunther. “Don’t open that eggnog. Get away while you can.”
E. Mr. Geller. “You know what I say Ross, I am classic eggnog.”
F. Janice. “OH MY GOD! I am also on the door of the fridge.”
G. Ugly Naked Guy. Ugh, he would buy soy.
H. Monica, Ross, or Rachel. “We are the eggnog in the basement. We are one.”
Quiz: Which of these unfinished cartons of eggnog are you?
You are this carton of eggnog.
Yup, you are this carton of eggnog right here. A fine carton, no doubt about it. You go well with some rum and a dash of nutmeg, and you’ll probably get finished by Christmas Day. Boxing Day at the latest. Be proud.
Quiz: Which of these unfinished cartons of eggnog are you?
You are this here carton of eggnog.
Woah, lookie here. Looks like you are this particular carton of eggnog. Somebody must really like their eggnog, and bought some the second it hit the stores. One of the fancy flavors too. You’re expired by now, but there was only half a glass of you left. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Quiz: Which of these unfinished cartons of eggnog are you?
You are that carton of eggnog.
Eeee, looks like you’re… that carton of eggnog. We get it, somebody bought the wrong type one day. One sip and it was to the back of the fridge with you; maybe they figured they could use you for cooking. Don’t worry, one day they’ll remember and you can feel the sweet release of the sink drain.
Quiz: Which of these unfinished cartons of eggnog are you?
You are the carton of eggnog.
Yes, we mean the carton. You know the one. Nobody’s sure what your deal is. Are they saving you? Do they not make this brand anymore? Is it weird that you’ve slowly accumulated an extra litre in volume over time and that we haven’t had mice for years? Only one thing’s for sure: you’ll outlast us all.

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