VANCOUVER – Local man Dominic Derkins was furious at the refs for missing an obvious call in last night’s game, wondering if they are hard of sight while he and all other hockey fans …
Tag: Trump
Democrats respond to Trump’s plans to destroy postal service by sending him strongly worded letter he will never receive
WASHINGTON, DC – House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer have responded to President Donald Trump’s explicit threat to the US postal service by writing him a sca…
Trump introduces “choose your own adventure” pandemic protocol
Washington D.C. – As the number of COVID cases skyrockets in the United States, Trump and his administration have officially instituted a “choose your own adventure” protocol to tackling th…
Trump says Biden’s poll numbers wouldn’t be so high if they stopped testing voters
Washington D.C. – US president Trump has issued a statement saying that Democratic Party nominee Joe Biden is only polling ahead of him because they are asking voters for their opinion. “Th…
FBI promises to expedite process of Epstein associate mysteriously hanging herself in prison
NEW YORK – After arresting Ghislaine Maxwell, accomplice of convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein, the Justice Department has promised to put the FBI’s full resources behind expediting her…
Businessman Trump masterfully convinces Putin to lower bounty on US soldiers by 2%
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The US president has once again brought his considerable business acumen to bear on matters of international diplomacy by successfully persuading Russian President Vladim…
Freethinker! This woman found a way to criticize Trump that didn’t involve celebrating a war criminal
Genius Mode Activated! Local woman Marla Bach has written a whole facebook post criticizing Donald Trump without ever once praising George W. Bush, a man who should definitely be sent to prison f…
United States deploys troops to politically unstable nation of the United States
WASHINGTON, DC- The United States government announced today that it will send active duty troops to the chaos plagued country of the United States to help quell the growing civic unrest. “Americ…
ANTIFA surprised to discover it is an organization
VARIOUS LOCATIONS AROUND THE WORLD – Following President Donald Trump’s announcement that the United States is designating ANTIFA as a terrorist organization, the loosely connected individu…
Little Free Library implements more comprehensive Covid-19 strategy than White House
Eugene, OR- Following mounting concern for public safety during the current pandemic, a local Little Free Library is paving the way for appropriate crisis management after issuing a more comprehe…
